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Welcome to the Doctor Love Coach Message Boards!
I invite you to join me and and other members in discussions of just about anything related to dating and relationships.
This is a place for everyone to share, so please respect each other and enjoy!
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latoyacarter
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Post subject: we have been dating for 5 years, no commitment but why?
Posted: Feb 14, 2009 - 03:01 PM
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Joined: Feb 14, 2009
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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I have been dating my friend for over 5 years now, we are together about 3 times a week but we see each other mostly everyday. he will not commit to me. he says he loves me and is not seeing any one else but over the last 3 months he had gifts from females in his apartment but he said they were just old friends, sometimes he is not reachable for hours with no call backs for hours, a friend of a friend told me that he was dealing with her friend a stripper but he said it was a lye and the girl was so scared of him that whatever was going on never came out into the open, females call him all night and he has his cell coded so i dont no who it is, he works but claims he's always broke and asks for money often. he has not taken me out in over almost a year and now the day befor valentines day he says all he planned was to cook dinner for me (THATS IT ) he's to broke to take me out but got payed yeasterday. HE BROKE MY HEART. I love him and i do alot for him when i can. i have only been dealin with him for 5 years, no dating , no male friends at all, my children love him and so do i very much, I feel that this is not the relationship for me in my mind but my heart wont let me leave. we had such a argument yesterday that he left and has not called or anything sence yesterday. someone please tell me what and how to deal with this cause my heart keeps me from doing what my mind tells me should have been done long ago! PLEASE HELP!!  |
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Janice
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Post subject:
Posted: Mar 03, 2009 - 03:14 PM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 274
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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You are asking "what and how to deal with this . . . " final breakup of your relationship, but in truth, there is nothing for you to do other than to learn from your mistakes and move on.
This man is not honest, loyal or reliable. He is selfish and only cares about himself. Why would you love him? How would he be good for you and for your children? I can't think of how you could possibly answer those questions in a positive way.
The best way to break up with someone you know isn't good for you but who you still have love for is to make a list of all things he did to disappoint you and treated you badly, and keep it in your wallet. Every time you start to feel sad and miss him, take it out of your wallet and read it to remind yourself of why you shouldn't be together.
You will get through this. Believe that you deserve to be treated more respectfully, act accordingly, and you will attract better men. Good luck! |
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